From the barstool of the publisher

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From the barstool of the publisher

I’m not sure if I’ll ever truly love again — at least as it pertains to bands. I had my heart broken again recently, and like a little middle school girl who got dumped, I’m nervous to put my heart on my sleeve again.

My poor history with bands started in the early 1980s when I first fell in love with Van Halen’s Fair Warning. I went and got all of their tapes and  ate up every note. Their album 1984 came out and was being heralded by critics. Just when they were at a peak, the unthinkable happened. David Lee Roth got canned. (Hagar, and all who’ve come after, including Diamond Dave, himself, have sucked.)

I moved on. In 1986 I saw Journey (laugh all you want, but Journey has the #6 selling greatest hits album of all time, and it being the ’80s there could have been way worse bands to adore). I fell in love with the band and was sure I’d see them the following year. But then that pussy Steve Perry left the band and in 1987, the band that I had come to know was gone.

I had a few one-album stands with bands after that, and then fell, hard, for my truest love, the Grateful Dead. It was a magical relationship and we spent 50 shows together before the death of Garcia. Maybe this wasn’t the same as the other “breakups” but it was still a band leader walking out, deliberately or not.

After the Dead, I moved over to my close second, my “other woman” during my Dead era, The Black Crowes. It is the longest lasting relationship I’ve had with a band, but they already took one hiatus and at the end of their current Say Goodnight To The Bad Guys Tour, they’re wrapping it up again, indefinitely.

But, my most current musical heartbreak comes at the hands of a band that I would have never dreamed would self-destruct — the same band that just last month I used this very space to absolutely gush over — The Giraffes.

A couple days after my editorial came out, I was told that lead singer Aaron Lazar is leaving the band. I held vigil for several days listening to their whole discography over and over, and now I can barely bring myself to put them on. I didn’t even go see his new band when they came through town in July.

I’m done falling in love with you assholes. How dare you all have lives that don’t center around your fans? I hate you all.

No. That’s not true. I still love you. But before you throw away years of hard work could you, for God’s sake, stop to think how much that discredits your fans’ love for your group. Y’all always say, ‘It’s all about the fans’ But when push comes to shove, will you stay together for them, too?

See you at the shows.

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